If you were who you should have been
My mind would be kinder
And I wouldn’t feel so lost
My tears would cease to spill
And my smile would be genuine
Instead of a half-hearted twist of lips
If you were as you should have been
My heart would be fulfilled
My eyes would roll but sparkle
For I would know your gestures
Your words, your smile, your taunts
Would be of kindness and of nothing less
If you were where you should of been
Then you could have changed my life
You would have made a happy home
And been who you are as I
Learned to love you unconditionally
And learned that such love is life
If you were all you could have been
You would have been happy and true
Instead of everything that you are now
With all this distance you’ve placed
Between life and living
But I cannot blame you for who you are
Because “if’s” get no further in our minds
Than hopes of people changing
In a reality of what they’ve always been
I cannot blame you for what you could have been
Even if my life could have prevailed
As something without darkness
Or grief of what I’ve never had
I cannot blame you for where you are
Though it is your legs that have walked you there
But nonetheless, I see no truth
In a reality that wasn’t meant for me
You see, I cannot blame you for what you are
Because that is life and fate at work,
And because reality would say that
If I was who I was meant to be
Then I too, would be exactly as I am.
-Kiran Bains Sahota
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